Reviving the blog

So I get really lazy when it comes to hobbies that require a commitment, but I felt it was necessary to post a new blog when I received this message from Joey on myspace

i hate how u n greg are the wackest bloggers ever!!! thats right, i said WACKEST BLOGGERS EVER!!! write something about france u dumb ho, or are you too embarassed to relate the story of how u got PLAYED by a gypsy!! lol

Yea I def am embarrassed about being played by a gypsy.

So on Friday I took my friend Randy out for a night of wholesome drinking since he got cheated on by this dirty skank he was dating. We started out going to Subway Inn, the bar across the street from Bloomie's. Then we went ice skating and ended up in Brooklyn at someone's party. When we got there, the host of the party, this ghetto-ass bitch, kept calling us out on not bringing liquor, even though we brought mad weed, which is way better in my opinion. The party was full of hoodrats, and mad homothugs. And my ass just kept getting groped. By mad guys. So i had to have randy and his friends protect me. But the host kept calling us out! Repeatedly. Like "The guys in the back who didn't bring liquor BOOO!" So finally Randy's friend Devon called her a wack Keyshia Cole (cuz she was looking exactly like a wack Keyshia Cole). She got offended so we bounced. The moral of my story is, don't let bitches get away with wack shit they're saying to you. Fuck you and your wack homothug party.

AHHHHHHH

My best friend Wilson and I just booked a trip to Paris! and then we're heading for Amsterdam! End of January, totally exciting. I've eyed every hot Diane von Furstenburg dress and I bought some booties to look fly as hell.

Merry Belated Christmas everyone! I stayed home and watched Gangs of New York, Borat and Boondock Saints, all of which were fantastic. Then I decided to subscribe to Blockbuster's equivalent of Netflix, and the only reason I chose Blockbuster is because the deal is better since you can drop your movies off in-store. EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO SEE A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS. Set in Astoria in the year I was born (1986), this movie has automatically been added as one of my top ten ever.

PS my impatience with fake ass wannabes like hipsters has grown to an uncontainable level. Someone sedate me.

Fine Wine

You know what terrifies me at this very moment? (besides the fact that I have two papers due on Monday, both of which have not been started due to my neverending tendency to procrastinate) If I get a husband, will we go throughout our entire marriage without cheating? Because I will be hot for only so long (LOL jk), but men are like wine; they get better with age. The best examples of this are Patrick Dempsey, George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Or do I not get married so if the worst possible situation happens I won't have a permanent attachment to him? OR do I just go for Botox?

So this is why I need a shitload of money. Guys can no way fuck me over because I'll be self-sufficient. I want to hear a response from an Arab guy especially.

Sick

You know the moment of clarity right before you throw up when you realize you'll throw up and you think FUCK! When this happens to me, I usually worry about my eyeliner and mascara running down my face when my tears are forced out but abandon this as soon as the first gag arrives. But you know what? I always feel better after.

Until I drink some more.

This is the stupidass chain of thoughts I had while at Stonybrook Friday. The party was the bomb. Passed out around six in the morning not believing I'd wake up again, but had a good time anyway. The only reason I'm forcing myself to party so much is because this is my last semester. I can't really be a dumb college kid anymore.

Well maybe if I go to grad school.

Christmas in two weeks! AHHHH. Gentlemen, remember I love Monsieur Louis Vuitton

Stupid Americans

Someone from outside the US PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW NOT ALL AMERICANS ARE STUPID. New Yorkers, for example, are politically aware, socially, psychologically and culturally diverse. Not to mention the poorest of people living in Shantytowns could be sitting on the Subway right next to Peter Vallone (I saw this on the W once). It is incredibly infuriating defending myself constantly. I'm a smart girl, I come from a good family and when I vote I take ownership in the information I should know. I did not vote this President in. Some conservative fuckers in North Dakota did. I believe in the theory of evolution, I am pro-choice, pro-gay marriage and I believe in globalization. So fuck that.

Plus everyone should read this article, it's kinda funny.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/05/opinion/05friedman.html?ref=opinion

So the weekend is almost here. Friday is homecoming (GO HAWKS!). Saturday I could do one of two things. There are 1500 hundred people who dress up as Santa Claus and go bar hopping every year. I could do that or go to a warehouse party in a cracked out part of Brooklyn. This party is supposed to be aesthetically pleasing in addition to being crazy. Hmm what do YOU think?

Absolutely Exhausted

I know I joke about being a ridiculous baller when I'm older but I am tired of money. If anyone doesn't feel this way, they need to work at a retail store for a company that is on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and I swear to God, if that doesn't humble you, then your heart is as cold as ice. My feet hurt, my brain hurts and I am ready to drop kick a bitch at any moment. And if one more rich JAP (Jewish American Princess for those who are oblivious) needs a detailed explanation of a simple ass receipt, then I'm a sure a swift blow to her head will knock some sense into her. So for those who haven't maintained a part-time job during college to pay for some superfluous shit like liquor, this is how it is. Be thankful people aren't climbing down your throat because they want some asinine discount.

Other than that I'm going on vacation soon! AHHHHHHHHH. I needed to pay for it somehow right?

The Last Supper

Registration is upon us, and it occurred to me since this is my last semester the classes I choose are something of a last supper in my educational meal. Do I order some spicy appetizers (like Intro to Film) or go all out and order the Peking Duck (Calculus)? I have three requirements, and this is what I finally chose.

Western Literary Backgrounds-requirement
Children's Literature-requirement
Intro to Computing-requirement
Literary Theory-for pleasure!
Business Law-THE MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

I time-crunched them to attempt the impossible next semester.

2 JOBS, AN INTERNSHIP AND THE TENNIS TEAM.

I know you bitches are hating already but whatever. At least it will be an interesting senior year.

By the way, everyone should hop on the Maureen Dowd bandwagon. This bitch is bad as hell, wrecking every American politician to pieces with her words, like in this article about the Annapolis conference.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/28/opinion/28dowd.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Enjoy!